Which, I'll be honest, I kinda thought I was getting there. It wouldn't have been long until my kneecaps did hurt and everyone knows once your kneecaps are hurting that's really death knocking on your door.
(Death is in fact a hobbit and this is why he knocks around your knees instead of face-level like full-sized persons.)
I've been meaning to write that sample chapter for my dissertation the past few days. Really...I've been meaning to. Yesterday's word count: 0.
Today's word count: 0.
Tomorrow I have to knock out around 2,500 words...
meh. I might even start researching tomorrow.
Oh god. I'm so fucked. Damn sinuses!
So, most of this week has been spent in bed or just trying to escape it. Of course I made it to the doctor or GP as they call them over here. And Cocker Spaniel and Afghan Hound braved what could have been nose e-coli to check on me, but I still have a lot of time to entertain myself, alone, and in bed.
There are games you can play from bed.
Alone games in bed. Granted it's more fun to have company but I'm single. And sick single people are very much alone in bed.
For the purpose of clarification I don't mean happy time games, illness doesn't really get you in the mood, so just to clarify, nothing raunchy.
Here you have it, 6 games* you can play whilst alone and ill and largely bed-ridden.
*Note* All games must either have a '!' or '?' at the end otherwise they're just sad things you're doing alone in bed while you're sick. The punctuation makes them fun things.
1. Tissue Launch! How far can you throw that fucker when your muscles feel like jelly?
2. How Long Are Your Jelly Arms? Variation on Tissue Launch!, it's for when those tissues land on something important, like that plate of food you fixed for yourself but couldn't quite finish and were saving for later...and you're feeling a little too tender to just get out of bed and remove the tissue. You've gotta stretch!
3. DVD Memory Times! The point of this game is to find a DVD in your collection that you don't remember the plot to and then re-watch it, because watching the same film over and over again is not an option. Remembering halfway through what happens counts as neutral. Not quite a win, but allowed.
4. Texting Inappropriately! You know those people that you have in your phone but never made the time to contact them properly? You've got the time now!! It doesn't matter that you met them 3 months ago in a bar and then failed text back after a week or two of chatting...no time like the present. Everyone will be happy to get back in touch. Word to the wise: Exes don't count, they're out of bounds.
5. Bravery! In this game, your physical abilities and mental strength are challenged. On your struggles across the living space to the toilet you are greeted by the spiders that decided your bathroom is a happy non-human place. Here you either bravely kill them using determination and super-human strength to squish them OR you choose to bravely watch them and allow them to live because you don't want to get bitten with their poisonous fangs and die from a sinus infection and arachnid venom. Valour is needed for the last option. You know you'll have to face them again when you're well.
6. Ventilation! Your flat might get a little stuffy, what with the being in bed and not being able to throw tissues all the way into the bin, so on one of your games of Bravery! you may want to try this game on the stumble back to bed. It's a reasoning game. You must weigh the option of either opening the back door and getting in lots of fresh air at once, but know you'll have to get up and close it again. Or, you can painfully stretch up and leave your full underside exposed to the cold of the room, open the above door window and get less fresh air, but know it won't require shutting should you fall asleep/pass out due to antibiotics/it begins to rain/you neighbours decide to have a garden party.
Just think, when you're sick and alone, there is so much fun to be had! And who said there isn't much fun in being a party of one?
I'm so glad those antibiotics did the trick. I'm glad I've left the house and that the world is sunshiney and full of other humans. As much fun as games of Tissue Launch! are, it doesn't top seeing films with friends, dinner parties and preparing to travel again.
And Sicily is in less than a week!
No comments:
Post a Comment