Like a theatrical stage production or teen drama, things are always darkest before the dawn and the hero (or heroine) must overcome both outer obstacles as well as inner obstacles.
Yesterday was decision day on who got the interviews for the Christeby's Auction House internship. They arrived via e-mail around noon. Everyone waited with bated breath for the art equivalent of the golden ticket from a Wonka bar. Afghan Hound got one, Cocker Spaniel got one, and as my friends, this pleased me to no end.
I checked my inbox - nothing.
I felt my spirits sink. It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and I could feel tears welling up behind my eyes. Professional Plan A: Fucked. But I had to keep a brave and happy face on for my friends, I don't want them to feel obliged to hide their joy. But being good friends, they could see through the mask I was presenting. They buoyed me with ideas that maybe mine would come later, or that maybe the office was just disorganised and mine was merely lost.
They were too kind and indulgent, and as the day painfully wore on, it seemed that things were only going to get worse. The Voice walked in looking like the cat that got the cream. I leaned over the Cocker Spaniel, 'Did The Voice get an e-mail?'
'Oh, I didn't want to be the person to tell you, but she asked me if I did and when I told her that I had, she told me that she had gotten one too.'
'Great. Evil reigns supreme.'
As more classmates asked who got an e-mail or who hadn't heard anything, I was forced to truthfully say it had not come, and I was officially rejected, just as The Voice walked up, let a smug look of self-satisfaction flicker over her face and then quickly fade into 'concern' and a coo, 'Ooh, I'm sure that there's like, totally other things you could do. I mean, like, I don't even know if I can afford to do this unpaid. Like, I'm not sure if I could accept it.'
In a panto someone would have already pulled out the 'Boo!' and 'Hiss!' signs for her, but in life there are no guarantees that she will be thwarted and I will manage to get ahead somehow. Therefore, this is not a panto. Dammit.
Instead of focusing on what I didn't get, it's time to get creative. I'm off to TEFAF today to meet the most influential dealers in Old Masters for the whole of Europe. Christeby's will have to wait until I'm a lady of 40 or so, in the hierarchical auction house world I didn't make the cut, now it's time to drop into this world the old fashioned way, networking.
Outer obstacle: Job and Visa, Inner obstacle: Feelings of rejection and career worthlessness.
Let's see if this character can overcome these situations, because if not, this is going to get depressing fast. Ha.
No comments:
Post a Comment